Feeling disappointed? It happens more and more these days and it sure doesn’t feel good, but just maybe things aren’t as bad as they seem. Just maybe you can still get over disappointment. However, you of course don’t know that yet. You feel disappointed because of unfulfilled expectations. What you expected would happen, didn’t, and now you’re wallowing in disappointment and self-pity, and this is keeping you stuck and feeling absolutely miserable about yourself. It’s time to snap out of it, and wake up to the fact that disappointment is an incredibly useful emotion that can help you move forward in a better way.
1. STAY CALM AND COLLECTED
Okay, something just happened that didn’t work out as you had expected, and now you’re feeling miserably disappointed. It’s okay. Let’s just stay calm and collected. Accept that disappointment is only a temporary condition that results from how you have chosen to interpret this experience. In other words, your perspective of the situation is what’s making you feel disappointed. Another person in your shoes might actually feel very different about what just happened. Let’s therefore not jump to conclusions. Let’s instead assume that things might just not be as bad as you make them out to be.
2. ACKNOWLEDGE HOW YOU’RE FEELING
It’s of course perfectly okay to admit that you’re feeling disappointed. In fact, by accepting that you are feeling disappointed can help you to make better sense of the situation. Disappointment helps us to better assess what happened and how things could potentially have been different. With that in mind, consider what actually happened, what should have happened, and why you are feeling disappointed in this particular situation? Making sense of the situation in this way can help you to make peace with your feelings, which of course is a necessary step for getting over disappointment.
3. RE-EVALUATE YOUR EXPECTATIONS
Let’s just make it very clear that the only reason you are feeling disappointed right now, is because you have failed to meet your expectations of the situation. You possibly set all these high standards for yourself, and told yourself all these wonderful stories about what will happen and how you will feel afterwards. But unfortunately, things just didn’t work out as you had imagined. It’s time now to asses your expectations. Where they realistic and reasonable? Did they potentially set you up for disappointment? Honest answers to these questions will help you begin getting over disappointment.
4. RE-ASSESS THE SITUATION
Yes, you’ve already acknowledged that you’re feeling disappointed. But is it possible that how you’re seeing things, and the story you are telling yourself about what just happened, isn’t the only interpretation you could make about this situation? Is it possible, that circumstances might not be as bad as you make them out to be? Just maybe there is some value to be found here.With this in mind, consider one positive thing you can take away from this situation. Maybe there is an opportunity here, or possibly there is a hidden lesson that can help you make better decisions moving forward.
5. TURN DISAPPOINTMENT INTO A CHALLENGE
In order to completely get over disappointment you need to find a valuable lesson in this experience. To do this, you must first identify what you are grateful for, and then search for a learning experience that makes you feel better and more hopeful about your predicament. Now take that learning experience and turn it into a challenge. Turn it into a challenge that motivates you to do better the next time around. But do keep in mind that the challenge you set must be somewhat within your control. Anything not within your control will only set you up for another disappointment.
6. MODIFY YOUR OBJECTIVE
Moving on from the previous step, it’s important that you clearly outline a different objective that is within your personal control and that also plays to your personal strengths. Therefore, modify your objective, make sure it’s under your personal control and influence, and ensure that it works to your personal strengths and abilities. In other words, your goal must be aligned with the knowledge, skills and the resources you have at your disposal that you can then use to obtain your desired outcome. Checking off all these boxes will significantly reduce your chances of future disappointment.
Getting over disappointment of course isn’t easy. It takes work and effort to consciously shift how we think and feel about a situation. It’s so difficult in fact, that many people prefer instead to wallow in their own self-pity, rather than making the effort to challenge how they view their own predicament. You are of course probably very different to most. You now clearly understand that disappointment is only a state-of-mind, and that getting over disappointment is something you can progressively work through. In fact, you now have all the knowledge you need to turn disappointment into an incredibly valuable and rewarding experience.