Stop being such a little wimpy butt…

How many of you can identify a constant complainer in less than 5 seconds? Ready, Set, Go!  Did you identify somebody?  Is that person your significant other?  if so, keep that part to yourself for the sake of your day.  But seriously you know who I’m talking about, the person who complains about everything under the sun. “My boss yelled at me, my job sucks, I’m so tired I worked overtime today, the house is dirty, and did I mention my life sucks?” You get it right?

You can google 1001 different inspirational blogs that will tell you to appreciate what’s good in life and to not dwell on anything else.  They will all tell you that things get better, you will have a good day mixed in there really soon.  That is all probably true, but will it get you to stop complaining?  We are all guilty of having a day when we are grumpy, irritable, and need to vent some things off of our chest.  That is ok, it is healthy.  We all need to vent, but there is a massive difference between the occasional venter and the constant complainer.

So what am I getting at?  Here is the deal. Stop being a wimpy butt, also known as a sissy la-la.  Yup, i said it.  Fact, there are going to be days when your boss yells at you, or you just have a terrible day at work.  Maybe you don’t land that big sale, the customer goes to your competitor, who knows.  And once something goes wrong, it ALL goes wrong.  The snowball effect has hit you like a ton of bad luck.  If you did’t have bad luck you wouldn’t have any luck at all!  Poor thing.

I have been around the block, and I am sure anyone will agree with me, failure makes you better as long as you handle it in the correct way.  Here are a couple options:

#1  You can continue to mope around all that you want.  Continue to be a wimpy butt, sissy la-la and let your boss, co-worker or whomever get the best of you!  (Clue:  This is the WRONG CHOICE)  The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows!  See video below.  It is a must watch

-or-

#2 Learn from it.  Get tough!  Be stronger than you ever thought you could be.  Dry your eye, wipe those tears away, and take some initiative to ensure that you succeed the next time.  Do NOT focus on what went wrong, focus on what you are going to do to make it better.

Sit down and think about this…

Where has all of your complaining got you? Anywhere?  Put all of that time and energy into being proactive, the possibilities for you are endless.

As I tell all of my clients, “Challenge yourself to be GREAT!”  If you do not know how or need help on getting yourself focused on what you are going to do to make it better call us.  We have business and life coaches that are here to guide you down the right path.  Our goal is for you to be the best that you can be.

This video is 100% what I am talking about.  THIS IS A MUST WATCH.

Help, How can I be more assertive?

This question is brought to me time and time again.  New managers, young executives, new executives and newly married couples all struggle with being assertive.  The one fear is that they do not want to be the “A**hole”  Legit fear, right?  Here are ten ways to be more assertive without being “that person”:

1. Examine the problem.

You might have difficulty asserting yourself in all relationships, or it might be with one person in particular. Maybe you can speak your mind with women, but you can’t with men — or vice versa. Maybe it’s just with your spouse or partner.

Define the people and/or situations in which you have the most difficulty speaking up for yourself or asking for what you want or need. Think about specific situations where you’ve wanted to say something, ask for something, or disagree — but you kept your mouth shut. Write down these situations so you have a reference point.  Do this before you start kicking yourself for keeping your mouth shut, it is easier to write things down before you are frustrated.

2. Define the meaning of assertive.  (This is key if you feel that you will be the A-hole!)

According the Merriam-Webster, assertive means, “disposed to or characterized by bold or confident statements and behavior.” Compare that definition to the definition of aggression: “a forceful action or procedure (as an unprovoked attack) especially when intended to dominate or master.” As you can see, being assertive is far different from being aggressive.

I like this definition of assertiveness that I found online on the UCSD website:

Assertiveness is the ability to honestly express your opinions, feelings, attitudes, and rights, without undue anxiety, in a way that doesn’t infringe on the rights of others.”

You have opinions, feelings, attitudes, and rights, and it is perfectly normal and acceptable to express those — even if the other person reacts negatively. Remind yourself that assertiveness is not only an acceptable behavior, it’s a desirable one.

3. Acknowledge your feelings.

Even when you understand that assertiveness is acceptable, it might not feel acceptable to you. What are the emotions you have around speaking up for yourself or asking for what you want?

What do you fear? What do you doubt about yourself? What is the worst thing you think might happen if you speak up? Dig deep and try to get to the root cause of your lack of confidence and fears.  What might happen if you don’t speak up?

Understanding and acknowledging these feelings helps you see there’s nothing wrong with you. You don’t need to think of yourself as a weak person, you are simply reacting based on your life experiences and your past habits.

4. Examine the truth.

Most of the time, the powerful feelings we have around being assertive have little basis in reality. When you shine the spotlight on these feelings, you can diminish them and remove some of the mental roadblocks keeping you from speaking up. For example, you might fear speaking up because you could get rejected. But is this 100% true? How likely is it that you’d be rejected? If you are rejected, could you survive it?

Maybe you don’t speak up because you don’t like the discomfort of confrontation. But can you tolerate this discomfort for a short time? Will the discomfort kill you? Is the short-term discomfort better or worse than the long-term pain of holding back?  Rejection is hard, nobody likes it but it is part of life…Look at the long term pain of not knowing.

If low self-esteem is the reason you aren’t assertive, you must ask yourself intellectually if you know you’re deserving of what you want and need. You do know you’re as deserving as anyone else, but you don’t feel as deserving. Taking small assertive and confident actions will help you feel better about yourself and your worthiness.

5. Define what you want.

Determine a situation in which you’d like to speak up, set boundaries, or ask for what you want. Don’t be ambiguous with it. Be able to state in one clear sentence what you want to communicate. Here are some examples:

I want you to stop looking at your phone when I’m talking to you.

I want us to take turns deciding on the restaurant.

I want to apply for the position of manager.

I don’t want you to speak to me with that attitude any longer.

I disagree with your position on that. Here’s what I think.

Please don’t interrupt me while I’m speaking.

It is time to discuss a promotion for me, and here’s why.

When you create this statement, don’t use weak or cryptic language like, “I’d really appreciate it if you’d think about a time to talk about my raise if that’s OK with you.” Create a firm, strong, confident statement. Then practice making the statement in front of the mirror to make sure your expression and body language match the confidence of your statement.  Find a personal development coach to practice these situations with.  It is our job to give you the confidence that you need.  We will practice with you, give you feedback and raise your confidence level to a place it has never been before.

6. Know what to expect.

If all you had to do was make the statement, and you’d get a positive response immediately, then being assertive wouldn’t be so intimidating. But you’ve learned from past experience that it’s not so easy. People can get mad, argue with you, put you down, or reject you. It can be distressing and painful to have these encounters, that is just human nature, don’t let it eat you up.

As much as you dislike negative encounters and feelings, you must decide if it’s worth giving up your self-respect in order to avoid them. And it’s often not only your self-respect at stake. It could be a new job or a pay raise. It might be the intimacy and trust in your marriage. It could be any number of positive benefits you could enjoy if you permit temporary discomfort.

The reactions you receive will depend greatly on the other person or people involved. You may need to manage the timing of your statement or request based on the temperament of the person.  The more you can prepare the better off you will be.  Do not walk to your boss 5 minutes before a meeting that takes place at the same time everyday.  Know your situation, know the surroundings, know his/her mood. Consider in advance how they might respond, and be prepared with a follow-up statement to support your reasoning. This is especially true if you are being assertive on the job, as you need to back up your actions or statements with proof or evidence.

If the other person reacts defensively or with anger, don’t engage in a battle. Simply state, “I’m sorry you don’t like my request, but this is the way it must be. Let’s discuss it further when you are calm.” Then walk away. You will be surprised at how many times that person will come back to you very quickly to discuss your situation.  By holding your ground you put them in a vulnerable position, you now have a step up on the situation.  If it’s a situation that needs immediate action, like deciding on a restaurant, stand your ground and let the other person determine if they will or won’t respect your request.  Keep in mind, you need to be ready for the response.

7. Initiate dialog.

You have some relationships in which the other person deserves being informed about your new, more assertive frame of mind. If you’ve spent years holding back on your ideas or opinions, then your sudden new behaviors or statements can be disconcerting.

Initiate a conversation with your spouse, partner, friend, or even your boss, in which you kindly but firmly acknowledge your past mindset and share your decision to be more assertive in the future. Mention how this not only makes you a happier, more confident person, but also how it will positively impact them.

You could say something like, “I know in the past I’ve allowed you to make most of the decisions (or I haven’t been very proactive at work or I’ve kept my opinion to myself), but I’m learning a new way to be a better, more confident person. You’ll begin noticing more assertiveness from me, and I hope you’ll support and encourage my efforts to speak up for myself and share my opinions.”

You may be surprised to find how much support and respect this conversation fosters. When you let others know how you want to be treated, they will generally rise to the occasion. Proactive communication and dialog is essential in any relationship.  Knowing how to be assertive is a key component to leading an organization or leading a team of employees.

8. Pick your battles.

Even as you work toward becoming more assertive, use good judgement and discretion. If your friend is feeling sad, don’t demand to see the movie where the dog gets shot and dies. If your spouse is in the midst of a big project, now is not the time to ask for an intimate conversation. There may be times when you choose not to assert yourself because the situation isn’t right, or maybe it simply isn’t all that important to you this particular time.

You don’t have to be assertive 100% of the time. As you practice saying what you mean and asking for what you want, you’ll gain more clarity around your core values and personal boundaries. All relationships involve a certain amount of give and take, as well as the ability to be discerning about timing, mood and setting.

9. Practice in manageable situations.

You can practice assertiveness in daily scenarios that aren’t overly uncomfortable. If someone in your office makes a political statement you disagree with, rather than keeping quiet, say something like, “That’s an interesting position, but here’s why I disagree with it.” If you have an idea in a meeting, speak up and share it. When a friend asks what restaurant you want to go to, rather than saying, “I don’t care, you pick,” instead say, “Let’s try that sushi place.”

The more you practice assertiveness, the easier it will become. When the time comes to use it in more difficult or confrontational situations, you’ll have some experience in speaking up.

If you need to practice and you don’t know who to practice with, call us.  We will meet with you and run through situations and give you feedback.  That is why we are here.

10. Keep a journal.  No not one with a cartoon character on it, it can be a notebook.

It’s hard to know whether or not you’re progressing with a new behavior unless you measure and document your efforts. As you begin the practice of being more assertive, keep a journal in which you document your efforts, your emotions around your efforts, and the responses of other people.

Give yourself a score from one to ten after every assertiveness encounter, with ten being completely uncomfortable and one being totally confident. As time goes on, you’ll notice your score getting lower and lower as you grow more confident in your abilities.

You don’t have to be an extravert to be assertive. You just need enough confidence in who you are and what you want in order to speak up in spite of fear or discomfort.

Healthy-minded, emotionally mature people respect those who are willing to step out of their comfort zone and calmly ask to be heard. When you find your own assertive voice, you’ll find the world opens up for you in ways you’d never anticipated.

How have you found your voice and practiced healthy assertiveness in your personal or professional life? Please share your experiences in the comments below.  The more you can share your experiences the more other people can learn from it.

If you are stuck, call us.  We are here to guide you down the right path and give you the tools you need to succeed.  Our coaches will meet with you one on one and coach you and assist you in reaching your goal(s).  We want you to succeed, we know you can, and we know you will.

Call us today at (714) 872-2393 or click here to EMAIL US

Clean up that scattered resume

In today’s economy and job market, switching jobs is nothing surprising. There are many people who have left one employer for another, changed positions, or shifted their career focus all together. There is no steadfast rule that says you must stay in one industry for your entire career. Some people move around trying to figure out what it is they want to do.  One other fact is that employers change out employees quicker these days.  It is rare to find somebody that spends 25-30+ years at one company now.
However, having a varied assortment of jobs on your resume can confuse employers if you do not have a clear format and message. It may leave them wondering what it is you want to do and how you are qualified for the position for which you are applying. Figuring out how to tie everything together can help your resume to leave a much stronger impression.
Know your goal. What type of job are you looking for? Before you can begin compiling your resume, you need to have a clear focus in mind. This will help you in determining what information to keep and what to cut when editing your resume.
What is the common theme? What strengths and abilities are required for the job you want? Once you have come up with a list of keywords and skills, go back through your work history and start making connections. I would advise you to avoid the normal buzzwords that clutter up a resume even more.  Highlight the accomplishments and projects from each job that align with the overall theme and message you want to send.
What did you gain from the position? This may take some thought. Consider each job and what you gained from it that contributes to your qualifications for your current career. Look at the bigger picture. Did you collaborate with others? Create exceptional customer experiences? Learn how to use a specific program? Use social media to build company recognition? How can you tie these tasks and accomplishments back to what it is you want to do?
Include metrics. Where applicable, include metrics and quantifiable results. This gives more solid proof of a job well done. It can help to show that you are able to meet and exceed expectations and produce results.
Skip short-term jobs that hold little value. If you worked a summer as a waitress or at the local grocery store just to make extra money and it does not relate at all to your career, you may benefit from leaving this off. As long as it does not leave a significant gap in employment, it adds little benefit and takes up valuable space. If the job will cause a noticeable gap, explain the position as concisely as possible and move on. No need to elaborate on details irrelevant to your current career.
Having a variety of jobs is not necessarily a bad thing so long as you present them in a way that shows what you have gained from each and how it has helped you to get where you are. Demonstrate your diverse knowledge and abilities and how you can benefit your next employer. If you are struggling with figuring out how to tie everything together and present yourself as a qualified candidate, the team at MCDA is ready to help. We will help you maximize the appeal of each job and highlight your core strengths and abilities. Contact MCDA at (714) 872-2393 or email us at mcdaccginc@gmail.com

How do you do business?

Google is amazing. There is not one thing (that I have discovered) that you cannot find in a quick Google search. I remember when I was younger if you wanted to find something out you had to look it up in a book. An actual book from the school or public library. Or if you were one of the lucky few like I was you had an Encylopedia set that your parents bought from some door to door salesman.
Today, we have all this access to technology and yet companies still struggle with finding the right way to ‘do’ business. Leaders are still trying to hit their business goals blindfolded. Business is not stagnant, it is an ever-changing environment and you need to have a growth mindset.  Do YOU have a growth mindset? If the answer is no, do not panic – that is precicely why we are here.  
So here are some quick and simple tips to start improving how you do business:
Love what you do and do what you love. One of the quickest ways to improve how you do business is to make sure you are loving what you do for business. If you can’t say you love what you do, you either need to change jobs or find out how to fall in love with what you are doing. Life is too short to spend 8+ hours a day doing something you don’t love.  As a business leader you spend more time away from home than you do at home, you should love what you are doing.  
Teach. The student is not the only recipient of being taught something valuable. Sometimes by teaching, we become the student. Have a spirit for learning to truly improve. An openness to realize you don’t know it all, you couldn’t possibly know it all. By teaching others you have the opportunity to learn yourself.  Remember continual improvement is a mindset, make it a habit.
Be thankful. Thank your employees. Thank your customers. Thank your suppliers. Having a grateful heart will never get you into trouble and only improve your life and your business.  A simple thank you makes everbody feel good.  Don’t just thank your direct reports, thank the receptionist, thank the janitor, thank somebody that may feel they are not appreciated.
Coach. It’s not just for sports anymore. Want to improve your business? Improve the personal and professional lives of those who call you boss. Spend one on one time with people. Get to know them. Help them play up their strengths and sharpen their skills.  I would encourage you to set up 121 meetings that are a firm date on the calendar.  Let employees express ideas, concerns, make it an open forum for them.  I have coached youth baseball for years now, most of what I do on a baseball field, I take to the office.  Be the leader that everybody wants to work hard for, not against.
Track. How you actually spend your time. Take a week and write down everything you do at work in 15 minute increments. Highlight the high payoff activities. Delegate the medium pay off activities. Dump the no payoff activities. Do this often and honestly so that you can have the time to do what is most important.  
Be courageous. Do you think Bill Gates was nervous when he dropped out of Harvard in 1975 to start his own computer company? Probably so, but being courageous has landed him on the list of most successful and richest people in America.  Have no fear!  Dig deep, work hard, and you will hit your goals.
Rest. As Americans we rest less than any other country as a whole. Rest is necessary. We cannot give our best unless we treat ourselves to the right amount of rest. In the words of self help author Alan Cohen, “there is virtue in work and there is virtue in rest.” Use both and overlook neither.  I know you feel the pressure to grow your business, attend your kids activities, read every email that pings you phone, but you have to put it all aside and get that rest.
Life is busy, life is messy, but that doesn’t mean you can’t improve your business. You just have to know how to improve.

If you would like a more in depth disussion with one of our business coaches, please contact us today!

Get Motivated – Here are some tips and tricks

Get Motivated!  5 Tried and tested tips

​1. Use a Mantra

Find a couple of short and sweet mantras to steer your mind off of negative thoughts. These power statements are concise — no more than a sentence long. And it doesn’t matter if it’s cheesy or tacky, what matters is hearing it encourages you to move forward.  How many of you out there remember Stuart Smalley from Saturday Night Live?  That is about as tacky as it gets but it worked to get him motivated.  The point is…do it for you, not for somebody else.

Mark Divine, founder of Sealfit and former Navy Seal officer, uses the mantra “feeling good, looking good, ought to be in Hollywood,” during the most grueling parts of a workout. You can try out his mantra if you are working out, or create your own!

 

​2. Aim Low

You can’t expect yourself to complete all the tasks you laid out when you weren’t feeling down.

 Your energy levels then and now are drastically different, so it’s not feasible.

You’ll feel like a loser if you fall short of expectations. Set ridiculously easy goals instead, and avoid the drama. If one of your goals is to finish your math homework, try solving just 1 problem.

Once you accomplish that, raise the bar and solve 1 more equation. If you can’t, that’s okay too.  Don’t make the problem worse by having crazy insane goals.

3. Don’t Feed The Beast

Feeling bad about your situation will just make things worse. Depression feeds (and grows) from negative emotions, like self-pity, self-doubt, and fears.

It’s impossible to eradicate these thoughts but you can learn to identify them, which then helps you minimize them.  Work on finding your reset button.  Maybe your reset button is spending 5 minutes with your dog, or turning on Comedy Central for a few minutes.  

Sitting on your butt feeding the beast of emotions is the last thing you should be doing.  

4. Exercise

 Any physical activity done for 30 minutes to one hour at least three to five times a week makes you less susceptible to depression, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).  

Now, I am not exercise expert but you don’t have to go out and run, lift weights, or do crossfit.  You can just go walk your dog…maybe hitting the reset button will knock out a couple of these items.    The other option is to just act like a weirdo and just start jumping up and down and dance a jig.  Play Just Dance on the Wii – anything helps!

If you want to be an overacheiver let me know and I can set you up with a very good personal trainer friend of mine.

5. Stick To Your Schedule​

When life throws you out of balance, your routine is there to comfort and provide some semblance of control over your life. Brushing your teeth, getting the kids ready for school, shopping for groceries, these are all regular habits that frame your existence.

So stick to your daily routine even when you feel down.

​Do this for a couple of weeks, even if depression persists. Over time, you’ll begin to feel a sense of normalcy and control over what’s happening around you.

 You might not be able to control the highs and lows of your emotions but at least you’ll have control of a fraction of your life. It will minimize the overwhelming helplessness you feel.

For more tips and tricks contact one of our life coaches to partner with you and keep you motivated!

Lead with Objective or Summary?

Should you lead your resume with an Objective or Summary that briefly describes your skills and background? In a word, yes. However, if you were to poll 10 recruiting experts on this question, you might get 10 different answers. That’s because so many Objectives and Summaries are just plain bad. If they’re properly written, they can be the hook that pulls the reader into your resume.

These points were driven home clearly a week ago when I reviewed several resumes at an event in Orange County.   About half of them went straight from the name and contact information to the education and professional experience details.

From what I saw that day, the Objective/Summary issue usually spawns these questions from job seekers:

1. Do I even need one?
2. If so, which one? Objective or Summary?
3. Isn’t this best left for the cover letter?
4. What should I say?
5. How long should it be?

Let’s tackle these questions.

1. Do I even need one?

I’m on the “yes” side of the issue for this simple reason: The Objective or Summary helps describe the value you can bring to a would-be employer through your skills and experience. It’s much easier for a hiring manager to find that value in a short paragraph than to try piecing it together from a lengthy history of professional experience and education. A strong, well-written Objective or Summary that’s tailored to the position you’re targeting can spur the hiring manager to read more of your resume.

2. If so, which one? Objective or Summary?

You’re better off with a Summary, unless you fall into one of these three categories of job seekers:

• You’re just entering the workforce;
• You’re re-entering the workforce after an extended absence; or
• You’re changing careers.

Those who fall into these categories are usually the only ones who do need an Objective. Most other people’s career objectives are easily determined from their work histories, so a Summary works better.

3. Isn’t this best left for the cover letter?

Well, there are also differences of opinion on whether including a cover letter with your resume makes sense (however, 86% of executives say “yes”). Sure, you might say something similar in the cover letter, but if the company doesn’t accept them, or the hiring manager doesn’t bother to read it, at least the resume can communicate your value.

4. What should I say?

Too many job seekers continue to write Objectives and Summaries that focus on what they want their next jobs to do for them. But frankly, most employers don’t give a [insert word or phrase here] what you want. It’s all about the employer: What can you do for them? So, your statement must focus outward, showing hiring managers what they stand to gain by hiring you.

Pull out the most relevant highlights of your professional history and present them in a brief, high-impact statement. Avoid personal pronouns (I, me, my) and remove unnecessary words. And don’t write complete sentences.

Compare the following two Objective statements, and notice how the employer-focused Objective is more likely to grab attention:

WRONG: Job Seeker-Focused

OBJECTIVE: A position in corporate procurement in the retail industry that can utilize five years of negotiating and research skills and eventually lead to a management-level role.

RIGHT: Employer-Focused

OBJECTIVE: A position in corporate procurement that can utilize skills in research and negotiating gained from 5 years of experience in another industry, helping a retailer cut costs and improve its competitive position.

Here’s an example of a well-written Summary statement that says a lot about the value the candidate brings to the table.

PROFESSIONAL SUMMARY: Corporate procurement professional with 10 years of experience in the high-end retail apparel industry. Highly skilled at performing due diligence on potential suppliers around the globe, negotiating contracts, controlling corporate risk, and minimizing costs. Fluent in Japanese and Spanish.

5. How long should it be?

No more than 50 words. You want to be succinct and straightforward. Anything longer might make the hiring manager stop and not bother to read the rest.

Today, the onus of career management falls on you — the worker — not the employer. You must be effective at communicating your value and marketing yourself. That begins with knowing yourself and understanding what you have to offer, how that fits with the employer’s needs, and how to “sell” your skills and potential. Your resume Objective or Summary lies at the heart of that effort. Excel at it and you won’t have a problem convincing someone you’d be a great hire.

Got any questions about the Objective or Summary? Post them below.  Would you like help with your resume?  Call one of our experts today and let them guide you to a world class resume.

Resume Services

A resume is like a virtual handshake to a recruiter or HR Manager.  It is the first opportunity that they get to judge you, yes judge you.

With our result-oriented resume services we guarantee you the results that you desire.  We have industry specialists that can hand-craft your resume to fit your style and desired position.

We also offer an editing service for your existing resume, our specialists will perform up to 3 edits to your existing resume.

We are also offering a referral fee.  If you refer somebody that orders one of our resume services we will send you a gift card to target or starbucks….your choice!  Make sure that you tell them to let us know who referred them!

Personal development coaches are here for you!

At MCDA we partner with you to help you achieve the goals that you have been longing for.  Have you wanted to advance your career, but struggle to do so?  Do you have a desire to further your education or achieve a certificate in a specialized field?  Our personal development coaches are professionals with years of experience as business owners, CEO’s, CFO’s, who have the experience and coaching abilities to move you forward.

Do you have roadblocks that you feel are in the way of you moving forward?  That is why we are here!  We will teach you how to avoid the common roadblocks and pitfalls that normally plague dreams and aspirations.  We show you how they are not even roadblocks.  We teach you how to be intentional with you actions and how to capture those dreams!

We will offer you a free consultation and show you how we can help you today.  Our coaches will meet with you and develop a human relationship to act as your coach, friend and mentor.  You will not be disappointed with our services.

Call us today!

Hey everybody!

We have decided that we are going to be redoing or website, Facebook page, and just about everything else to remove some of our old services.  We are no longer offering corporate IT services….booo I know.  We are going to be focusing on our real strengths which is business and personal coaching.

We will be way more active posting back on this site since we have removed our other IT site.  Thank you all for your years of service with us and we are excited for many, many more!